a brief encounter

Little words, like little butterflies
like the morning breeze, soft and gentle
Little words, trying to reach you
trying to make you think of me
Little words, meaning nothing
so little that remain unnoticed
It was all just a little dream,
with little words I want to rebuild.

Little words, coming together
making lines, one after the other
Little words trying to say big things
trying in vain, managing nothing
So little, so easy to forget
so brave, but still afraid
It was all just a little runaway,
not reaching too far from your lips.

Little little words that I want to write
just once and not anymore
Little little poem, at the edge of nonsense
Life goes on as nothing has happened
your eyes still so blue...
I remember you as you hold the glass of wine
talking about the past
Maybe one day you'll tell that night to another
with the same little words as mine...

February 8, 2004

what the rain washes clean

What an annoying rain, gutless to turn to a storm,
but nasty enough to continue
I'm sitting here inside without the tiniest bit of
motivation to keep things going
I feel like trashing all, burn everything to ground
and start all over again
I feel like going to sleep and not waking up for an eternity
Too freaked out to face the true nature of my dreams
Too bold to just forget everything and go on as normal
Liquid fire in my veins, screaming flames under my skin
Tormented by the ghosts of the past,
ghosts of alternative futures...

Where are my evil seagulls, filling the horizon
with their never-ending calls?
Where are my messages in bottles,
sinking and rising beneath the ocean waves?
And what can I do about the temptation
caused by the alluring thickness of your lips?
What a set mind, oh almighty Lord of Passion,
is there no way to escape your wrath?
What a disturbing thought that we are
not brought any further by so long an evolution!

With a huge pointy hat on my head,
I am desperately looking for a perfect mixture,
Stirring the pot with such a force,
adding some carefully placed lies and teardrops
Spinning my web further and further,
losing track of the flies I forgot struggling around
Becoming one of them in my own mess of a head in the end...
I'm pretty much fucked up, you can tell, longing for a change
Everything ends up boring me to death,
every promising wing turns into an iron bar
Reinforcing my prison, stealing my breath
I have to dig deeper, I have to go further, I have to persist
Till I can get even with my dreams,
and finally have some peace of mind
And only then the rain will be truly over, for once and for all...

January 7, 2006

Turbulent Waters

I am in deep trouble, oh yes, I am
I thought about it again and again
And there's no way out I'm afraid...

This feeling when I see the sun
Reflecting from the corner of your lips
This feeling when I hear the tune
Hidden in the depths of your smile
This feeling when I touch the wind
Bold enough to caress your hair

I am in deep trouble, oh yes, I am
No chance to run away from it
And it'll get worse and worse I'm afraid...

December 29, 2005

Longing for Illusions

My confusion grows with time
I'm neither healed nor calmed down
Thunderbolts and hurricanes in my head
I don't know what I should do next

It must be something about your smile
Or the perfect shape of your lips, perhaps
And the distances and loneliness
It all adds up, you know

I'm feeling miserable, yet kind of excited
Holding on a dream like there's no tomorrow
Always in a hurry, yet doing almost nothing
Mostly trying to escape from my own thoughts

You know I can stand still for hours thinking
About every single vein visible under your skin
I can go on trying to make you laugh, for ages
I'm even capable of writing infinite lines
Always insufficient to describe the beauty of yours

But what makes me so frustrated, my dearest
That not even one of the countless things I'm capable
Are any good against your "out-of-reach"ness...

December 10, 2005

infidelity of feline kind

Today, I felt like writing a little poem

For you-know-who
So I sat down and took a deep breath
And waited for that feeling to pass
Then I quoted from Neil instead
And saved a lot of trouble by doing so...

November 18, 2005

"There are only two worlds-your world, which is the real world, and other worlds, the fantasy. Worlds like this are worlds of the human imagination: their reality, or lack of reality, is not important. What is important is that they are there. These worlds provide an alternative. Provide an escape. Provide a threat. Provide a dream, and power; provide refuge, and pain. They give your world meaning. They do not exist; and thus they are all that matters. Do you understand?"

Titania, the Queen of Faerie

obsessed and confused

- Obsessed with beauty and confused by its side effects -

What does a poem mean?
but some hidden wishes and confessions
It's a message in a bottle, thrown to the ocean
It's a letter in the sand, afraid of the smallest wind
It's nonsense, illogical, worthless...
nevertheless...only sometimes...it works

Looking at you, so close, still very far
seeing patterns formed by the veins of your arms
dreaming impossible dreams
as I used to do, many changes ago
Your face carries me to the past
to a half-forgotten silhouette
dishonored by today’s reflections...

Was I comparing your beauty to a drop of tear's?
Did I mention that you were as attractive as a shiny blade

on the newly smitten knife?

- Don't get me wrong, it's neither out of love nor affection

Not even attempting a request, no, I wouldn't dare to
I'm just pointing to a well-known fact so far
Let this be it and go on with our lives, my dear
And accept my humble apologies for intruding your intimacy
Making you wonder what this is all about
I suspect I did (or will) even cause some disappointments
Twisting your so well-proved formulae about life, universe and everything -

Was I talking about your grace there and everywhere?
Did I already make up some tailored stories to underline your sparkle?
I'm afraid I was.I'm afraid I did.

- The End -

October 30, 2005

Murderous intentions

How beautiful can a nose be?
Standing alone, without those lovely lips underneath
I've got nothing against eyes, though
Dreamy as can be...
What a perfect harmony, the face of yours, I mean...
Attached to a mirror, I bet you spend your time,
When you don't torture the world with its "out of reach"ness
Nailed to a pictureframe, that's where you ought to be
And not walking around, like normal people
Funny thoughts invade my head then
Thoughts very out of place
Disturbing my everyday existence, in a rather violent way
And I'm sure as hell that I'm not the only one, either
We should sort it out, my dear, for once and forever...

October 24, 2005

Break the glass in case of emergency

I see you, silent and distant
Like the sight of a sea in the mist
Your big, beautiful eyes, half closed
As they always are, when you're asleep
Your hands like falling leaves in the autumn wind
covered by the scars
where life tries to manifest itself in some way
or what you really feel about it
Is it really you I'm missing so badly
or am I just longing for the past
when the blossoms were young and bright
Another lonely night
I am lying, awake, with strange tears on my pillow
with strange thoughts on my mind
Feelings of regret surround me
Feeling incredibly stupid, incredibly weak
I don't give a damn what they might think
I don't care if no one understands
But I know one thing, my love,
which is that I need you, desperately,
even for being able to breathe...

"Is this an emergency, my dear, or what do you think?"

October 03, 2005

The Wishing Well

Look for me deep inside the wishing well
Look for a coin, bright as hell
Look for my dead body
Look for me, at last, free

The well is deep, ancient, dark
The well is all that I've got
Counting worthless coins
And all the scars they caused

Throw your coin, speak your wish
Staying, blind to my pain
Beside the wishing well
But I won't find any peace at all
Unless someone wishes ME well

September 27, 2005

prayer before sleep

he said I was evil
"yes" I said, "and you are lucky"
but that was some time ago
I warned him, you know
trying to explain the rules
that's the nature of the game
it's a wicked one, but who cares
seeking pleasure like in babylon
playing with poisonous snakes
who can blame me, if he gets bitten

he was happy that I was evil
but such things are easy to change
you never know with men
better always on the guard than a broken heart
sometimes I feel manipulated
blessed with a playful joker instead of soul
infested with too many ancient instincts
too many ancient gods
trying to be heard, using my voice

still asking for a meaning, aren't you?
there is none but one
and you won't be happy to find it
"reproduce!" said the voice and left us all alone
or was I daydreaming again
isn't that such a rare jewel
the eyes you're used to carry around?
i mean nothing, these are just words
coming to me, when I'm alone at dark
that's why I don't like
you to be far away at night...

(mistress of broken toys)

September 09, 2005

life is unfair

Leaving messages in bottles into the ocean,
As we use to do when we were children
Hoping someone sees them, just in case
Hoping he’ll think of me a bit more than “just occasionally”.
Never knowing what is what I want,
And getting bored to death…
Life is unfair, my dear.

No words, nothing to say anymore
No conversation, just yawning
Watching your glass always half full
“Finish it or I’ll die” I’m going to scream
Or just snatch it and break it into a million pieces
Holding too much on twisted nerves…
Life is nothing but what we make of it, my dear.

August 16, 2005