beauty

There is thing about beauty
It makes me paralyzed
It makes me stupid
It makes me forget everything I should remember
And remember everything I should forget

Seasonal Reflexions

Looking outside my window, lost in thought.
It's the end of autumn, there are dead leaves everywhere
Some of them are piled up, neatly
Hiding the decaying ones underneath
Some of them whirl around,
Blown forth and back by the wind
It's so much like looking into my own head...

I remember his eyes, melancholic and brown
His hands, as cold as the season
And a faint smell of moist soil, hiding behind the cigarettes'
It was like he kept a piece of autumn
In his pocket, all through the year...

It's not just him I want to remember
It's another time, another me
An era of my life I can't leave behind
A piece of me, that no one seemed to like

Longing for a home, feeling alone
Looking for an escape, from everything around
With freedom being nothing but a slogan
The faintest wind was enough to drag me along

I go out, pick one leaf up from the ground
It's bright red, beautiful
It's not like the sad, pale ones in my memory
It's like how I fell now, about my life and me

There is a time for everything, I know
And it is the time for letting it go for me...

Home

I wonder why I am so happy now
I don't feel like a stranger at all
So far away from home
Seems like I am finally at home

revelations

This is a very stange feeling that I have
When I'm walking in the street
Or waiting for a bus, or climbing the stairs
Even at home, especially while looking into the mirror
I can almost hear the popping sound
Of a wish coming true
I am beautiful...

last minute confessions

You are so stuck in my mind
I keep dreaming of a possible reunion
How things could be different
Then again, probably not...

Why did I throw away
All those things I wrote
Why did I hide my face
Or was I unable to speak
Ever time you were nearby?

Insecurity and fear
Blur my vision sometimes
They mess with my reason
Just the same way as desire...

calling for trouble

Beautiful child with magical smile
You make me feel old
You make me feel foolish
You make me feel odd...
I can't stay away, yet I must!

I wish I could reach you
But my words are so weak
Because, actually I'm a selfish, dishonest thing
Because I don't really care what you think
I only improvise to keep you by my side
And so I keep talking and talking...

Beautiful child with baby smile
You'll grow up one day, and care less
I know, he was just like you once
You are so shy know, so unsure about yourself
If I was just a tiny bit more evil
I would... no nothing at all
But please, I beg you, don't look at me like that
You are wearing off the only sanity I have left...

Deja-vu

It's a lovely day
I feel more beautiful than ever
Fortune seems to smile upon me...
I think big big trouble is on the way!

Unfinished

What if I see you again?
With autumn leaves in your eyes
What if you speak to me
Harsh winds haunting your voice
What did you do with your life
To whom did you open your heart
Did you grow up, did you learn to forgive
Did you forget what you used to call me?
Did you think about me, once,
When you were alone at night?
Did it crossed your mind to reach out for me,
Even if you know that this is not an option anymore?
If not, my beautiful friend, let's just do the small talk
Let's talk about the weather, and about our daily lives
Best wishes to your girlfriend, I hope she is OK,
And yeah, he is fine, too, thanks for asking,
Oh, isn't it late, don't let me keep you,
And please, let me go my way...

Not for the fainthearted

I wish I could find the best words to depict your beauty,
Or form the sentences that would exactly translate
How I feel, when you are just in front of me.
The pleasure of watching your lips move as you talk
Imagining how they would taste, holding my breath...
Being then totally distracted by the veins,
Slightly visible beneath the smooth skin of your neck
Following them under your shirt, in my mind,
Along the most perfect collar bone
And down, on the roundness of your shoulders...
While my imaginary fingertips slowly discover
All the details of your skin, of your statuesque body,
My imaginary lips and tongue are busy
assigning the matching flavors, simultaneously.
Then you suddenly stop speaking and ask me
What I am thinking about, "am I boring you?"
you say, with some annoyance in your voice.
I could try to tell you the truth, probably.
I just don't think you would take it so well, after all...

Drunk Talk

It's spring here in the city
And we are having fun!

Pass me the bottle, dear friend
And what was that joke again?
Oh yes, me too, I am afraid
But what's the point, you know
The future is at least months ahead

Yes I miss him, yes I miss him, too
Yes, I am angry and frustrated
With my pitiful self, still
But the night is young, so is the season
So are we, and maybe not for long

Don't you think that I dream of his eyes?
Eyes are the door to the soul, someone said
Oh, please, there is no such thing as soul
Beautiful eyes though, a beautiful blue

Then again there is the story with the lips
There are so many stories with them
All having an annoying question mark
Hanging around, 'what if...'
One day I'll carve each one of them
From all the pictures I still keep
And look if they match, they probably will...
All except one, of course
But yeah, love is sacred, I know that
Just tell me then, what about the lips?

Sorry, I got distracted again
Yes, the passing girl was lovely, indeed
How about if we open the next bottle?
Shouldn't we move closer to the music yet?
Let the past sleep in its cave
Let the future stay where it is
Over the mountains, over the ocean, whatever
Let's have a little fun, while we still can

mind games

Looking for clues, aren't they?
Well, that's why I am doing it anyway
Leaving little secret messages around
Pretending they are important...

Silence

I have nothing to say...
Except that... I miss you...
That I feel lost, hurt, broken...
Like someone, secretly
carved a hole in my chest
and filled it with pebbles afterwards
I struggle to breathe, yet I seem to fail
It's like suffocating in the open air...
No, wait, I haven't said any of that!
I'm fine, it's OK!
I live on anyway
Well, you know, I have nothing to say...

I am not at home

Don't knock on my door these days
Don't come looking for me
I am not at home
Stuck inside my own head
Trying too hard to forget
Unstable, doubtful, upset
I am not at home

love your troubles

Today I had a moment of enlightenment
While stepping out of the ferry, all of a sudden
Everything seemed so clear
'Sometimes, you just have to hit the road'
Whispered a voice in my ear
And I walked home, hoping that feeling to
disappear, before I get there...
Sometimes, a solution is not what you long for
It's carrying the problem around
And trying to find a way to live with it
That's what keeps us going
Because, in the end, it's your best friend,

your uttermost achievement

the problem you hitherto cultivate...

I am NOT what you think I am

Come to me, wherever you are
Sit by my side, tell your story
I ran out of mine, some time ago
Your voice, soft and sweet
Like the one of October's
I have no words to comfort you
No hands to caress, no eyes to cry
No energy at all, to try to ease your pain
But time, I have plenty...

I will listen to you, like no one else ever did before
I will listen to the words, unspoken
Thoughts, unsaid, places and people, long forgotten
You'll find a deep well in my eyes,
Or a mirror, revealing more than just your reflection
But beware, as I never forget
So neither will you...