Assertive communication

There is this skill I am lacking
that my therapist says at the root of all my problems
and she has this neat little formula
to use if one doesn't know how to go about it

So one starts with "when you do <insert action>,"
"that makes me feel <insert feeling>,"
"because then I think you <insert perceived not-so-good intention>,"

So it goes "when you comment on my weight for the millionth time"
"that makes me fucking miserable"
"because then I think you don't give a flying fuck about how I feel"
"and only care about how I look, especially to your friends"

Or how about "when you offhandedly say I'm too stressed to think about travel"
"without even making an attempt to show me that you care the tiniest bit"
"about what is important to me"
"especially after you made me go through hell to travel last summer"
"that makes me fucking furious, not even hurt anymore"
"because then I think you don't care shit about me at all"
"you only care about how useful or helpful I can be to you"

And there is that one that goes "when you expect me to do something without hesitation or argument"
"just because it is something you want done"
"no matter how miserable it will make me"
"that makes me feel like an accessory to your life, like an extension of your body"
"because then I think you don't appreciate my as my own person"
"and value me only as I complete your story"

When I feel the urge to write things like these
It makes me feel very tired
Of every single one of you
Because then I think I might be better of
without having you in my life.

Then you do something nice
or smile just so
even ask for help
and I forget what I was supposed to say
love makes suckers out of all of us...