Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Making things right myself will be the only remedy


I am trying to write about something which hurts me the most
It's a constant feeling at the back of my head
That I can never logically talk about
The emotions run wild, objectivity gets lost
And I don't know how to move on...

It's not easier now that I'm far away
I wish I could choose to never ever see you again
My heart is broken beyond repair
And I'm tired of running in circles
and coming to the same subject one more time...

I know you loved me, but not as much as yourselves
I know I'm being unfair by blaming you
For all the mistakes I have made
In the end things did turn out OK, didn't they?
But damn, I worked so hard for that!
And I didn't get any happy memories out of it...

There is this scar underneath my skin,
Part of me is begging for attention, for love
And the other part suspects it won't last
Selfishness comes in many many disguises
I only hope that I can keep it out of MY house

Yes, I'm still bitter, and I don't forgive you still,
Yes, I can't help hoping for an apology
Or just that you understand my reasoning
But deep inside I also know that all is in vain
Neither you will change, nor I will explain
Let's just hope that I will have my closure
When I have children of my own...

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