Making things right myself will be the only remedy

I am trying to write about something which hurts me the most

It's a constant feeling at the back of my head

That I can never logically talk about

The emotions run wild, objectivity gets lost

And I don't know how to move on...

It's not easier now that I'm far away

I wish I could choose to never ever see you again

My heart is broken beyond repair

And I'm tired of running in circles

and coming to the same subject one more time...

I know you loved me, but not as much as yourselves

I know I'm being unfair by blaming you

For all the mistakes I have made

In the end things did turn out OK, didn't they?

But damn, I worked so hard for that!

And I didn't get any happy memories out of it...

There is this scar underneath my skin,

Part of me is begging for attention, for love

And the other part suspects it won't last

Selfishness comes in many many disguises

I only hope that I can keep it out of MY house

Yes, I'm still bitter, and I don't forgive you still,

Yes, I can't help hoping for an apology

Or just that you understand my reasoning

But deep inside I also know that all is in vain

Neither you will change, nor I will explain

Let's just hope that I will have my closure

When I have children of my own...