solitude is not for me

Your absence confuses me

I feel lost in a world I'm not used to

Every little problem wears a huge mask

I ran out of solutions, motivations and dreams

Even the city lost its sparkle

It's like there is nothing outside my window

I'm already bored with all kinds of entertainment

I invented, just to distract myself

Did stupid things, gave wrong impressions

Told lies, gave away secrets

And regretted them all afterwards

In the end nothing remained

I'm just numb now, daydreaming

When I'm not sleeping, which I do a lot

Everything I once longed for seem meaningless

Everything I once desired is just a handful of sand now

Even the beauty or kindness of strangers

Do nothing more than annoy me, slightly

This is sick, I know, just I can't help it anymore

This waiting around is going to kill me

Eating its way inside, transforming me to an empty cocoon

You won't find me the same as you left, I'm afraid...

fading affection

I don't know what to do
I'm not sure what to think about you
Maybe you are just a child
Immature, selfish, unkind
Terrified of getting hurt,
always on the guard...
Or maybe you just like to pretend
As if you are so amazed by yourself
But I can see all the nasty insecurity
Showing through your bitter irony.
Whatever, I'm at the end of my patience
No more soft words, no encouraging
It's no fun and you're spoilt anyway
Do something to win my heart back
Or get lost, I don't care anymore...

Strange Feelings

Jealousy creeps in like a snake
Bites here and there, spreading its poison
Not enough to kill me, yet it hurts like hell
I watch you laugh, I watch you talk
And pain strikes its roots inside me

Sweet and kind, as you always are
And as attractive as no other can ever be
They must be enchanted, I'm sure
Trying to get closer, like moths to a flame
I wish I could burn them all
By screaming that you are mine
You are mine, mine and mine only
But the ocean takes my voice away

Jealousy leaves a bitter taste in my mouth
Unshed tears cultivate new suspicions
Untold words shatter my reason
Loneliness make phantoms come alive
I'm not used to feel like this,
I can't pretend no more...
Just for you to know,
nothing is well around here anymore.

pretending to be blind

I never felt so foolish before
It was so obvious that we weren't
just what we meant to be, but something else
Something weird, nameless
I looked into your eyes
I spoke your name, again and again
And the whole world seem to be
coming apart
A private hell, so hard to be calmed.
Yet tomorrow is a brand new day
So now take a deep breath,
and blow my pain away...