Chocolate truffle

If you stop to think about it

(You will realize that)

You were just overthinking it

Here I am
tired, about to collapse
from lack of sleep
and accumulated stress
you'd think my mind would be foggy
and I'd be the most confused
instead, a detached clarity blossoms.

These are trifle matters
all it takes is for me to get busy
doing something that matters
doing something challenging
to see what was in front of me
All this time while I was playing games
the games were also playing me.

All the headache, tears, embarrassment
For trying to create another reality
What for, though, was it really necessary?
I am what I am, nothing will change that
I am who I want to be
I am also with who I want to be with
all else, in the end,
trifle matters indeed.

While I knit

The needles rise and sink
like little boats in the storm
yarn flows in between
back and forth, the fabric grows,
my thoughts, diligent travelers
scatter around
following the rhythm of my knitting.

there is so much happiness to be felt
i can have fried okra for dinner, for example
and knit a turquoise sweater all night
wake up without the sound of seagulls
and see this beautiful man sleeping by my side.

click click go the needles

between my fingers i hold

promises of warmth, promises of color

rows and rows, first knit then purl
while the past folds onto its own, layer after layer,
the future keeps its secrets safe.

Words are birds

Write it down to forget about it
Write it down to deal with it
Write it down, clear your mind
Write the right things down.

Write down, for example,
that your life has become
this pretty little cage
that you can't escape from.

Or that in his eyes you found
a piece of the sky
that you missed so much
even though it's probably painted on.

It's OK to write down
that you know the outside is cold
there's strong winds and no food
and the cage is not a cage
but just a pretty little house
but you're too tired to see
that it does have windows
and also a door.

Write it down to understand
Write it down so you can be
honest with yourself
that you rather climb halfway
out of the window
and enjoy the sky that way
than actually going out.

Write down, calm down
it's all going to be fine
you may even have found
other birds with colors
matching your own.

Write about him, too
if you really want to
write to him as well
Him, him and the other him
but the only one that matters
will understand you
even if you were never ever
would write anything down again.

Maybe because he smells nice?

He makes me feel like a kitten
If I could just bury my nose into his neck
And stay there, breathing his scent in
I'd be contentedly purring forever.

No, I don't want to talk
Nothing interesting to say or hear
And no, don't come any closer
This is as far as I want to go.

Call me odd, call me whatever you want
I just feel like curling up next to him
Putting a cutesy movie on
and making funny faces at the screen.