This is not a poem

"You need surgery, immediately"
You'd think the world would go up in flames
You'd be a crying mess, scared
No, all you think about is
"I'm probably not going to be able to meet my friend tonight"
Followed by "I'm going to miss my flight"
And "oh, no, another week stuck in here, away from home"

"It's going to be a major one, we'll cut you open
and remove a chunk of your liver"
Sure, whatever. Another week away from the one I love
Another week of keeping up appearances
Smile, nod, smile, be nice, always be nice
Be nice when all you want to do is scream obscenities
And hit everyone on the head, repeatedly.

"It will hurt so much, part of your brain will short-circuit,
and all you'll be able to process is the pain and how it doesn't stop"
OK, they won't tell you this
They won't tell you that the cut will be 25 cm long, and ugly, either
Or that you won't be able to cough or even laugh for a long while
But you'll see for yourself, soon enough
Still, everyone will have bigger problems
Everyone will be suffering oh-so-much more
Cheering others up, letting them think they cheer you up
Why won't they just leave you alone
Oh, yes, you don't want to be alone
And the only one you want to be alone with,
can't stay for long...

"See how quickly it was all over? Almost as if it never happened!"
Of course. Except for the pain. And the scar. And the fear. And the pain.
At the end, you'll be so tired that you won't be able to sleep
Crying at night so no-one sees
You don't want anyone to worry about you
That would mean you'd be indebted
Another hundred years of having to make others feel better
Part of it is just in your head, but feels real enough
Getting more tired by the hour
Smile and nod, everything's alright
Just let me make it to the plane,
and through the journey, and through the waiting, and through the taxi ride.

"Finally we're back home!"
You're sleeping well for the first time in ages
Falling asleep in front of the TV already
Going to bed, sleeping all the way till morning
You made love, you ordered take-out
You opened the bags, spilled their guts around, fetching just a few things
House is a mess, who cares, you're back home, together, alone
You're still wanted, and cared for, even with the scar
No need to nod and smile, just the way you are
And normalcy resumes...