Words on words

You have to walk a lonesome desert
You have to walk it all alone
There is no one to walk it for you

My words, drunken butterflies in the wind
My castles made of snow, melting away
In a world seemingly too good to be true
Searching for trouble all the way through

My dreams, with huge wings and countless colors
- Up to the clouds, up to the sun -
Where I am going to, what is what I want?
Why am I still such a stupid child?

My words, always looking for a place to hide
I fear your fury, I fear your sadness
I fear like hell, losing you on the way
But this crazy mind of mine,
Always on the thin line....

My words, looking for a way

for a damn crack or a forgotten pass

here or there

My fears, my dreams, my sorrows, my passions
All in one, one in all
Like a million snowflakes, adding to the avalanche
Like a million seagulls, aimlessly - arrow-like

Let me stop right where you are
let me settle down, at least for a while...

Writing to forget

It's hard to describe this feeling
This indecision, this ever changing state of mind
One moment I feel so strong, so indifferent
That I could just do anything
A few hours pass then, and I change again
I feel hurt, my pride's on the ground
And all I can do is escaping to sleep

Why can't we speak more openly?
Why wouldn't you tell me what you think of me?
Just a pretty face from around,
Or a girl to fall in love with

if things were different,

Or, most probably, a mistake not to be spoken of?

I don't even know why I want to know
Since it probably won't change anything at all...

I wish

I wish I was a fallen leaf, entangled somewhere in your hair
I wish I was the ocean breeze, caressing you tender
I wish I could fall asleep in your arms every night
And see you still by my side with the morning light...

I wish I could get so drunk
that I sober up from the real life
And get loose from all the chains coming with it.
I wish there was you and me and no one else
Because I'm too tired, I can't fight anymore...

What next

about how easy it is,

to create an illusion and then
end up believing in it...

Stay still, for a moment
Let me watch you, 
                              through and through
You are like a reflection of the misty
                                                               evening sky
You are like a moment of silence,
                                                          in the morning rush
Looking at you is finding a long lost piece
                                                                         of the ancient puzzle
And also encountering a memory
and realizing that it doesn't hurt
                                                         anymore...
Let me feel you, with my fingertips
Like a blind one,
                            going through all your skin
Like sailing to the ocean,
                                          leaving the compass behind
Like shutting up my conscience,
                                                         screaming inside
Let me believe, for just a little while
That this is not the real world
And we won't be getting on
                                              with the daily routine

                                                                     for the rest of our lives...

Confusing Eyes

All the distant sunsets in your eyes
All the forgotten lands
And their heroes, dead and buried
In your eyes, the sound of the waves
from silent nights with a full moon
Something ancient, yet struggling to be remembered
Something not yet born, but long prophesied
It's like I have known you all my life
And all the previous ones I had (if any)
It's like I didn't even meet you yet
A stranger of infinite beauty
But still so close, that no man ever could be
Oh, those eyes, with so many things to tell/hide
Do I have to get that confused
Every time you look at me?

Alone in the dark

Feeling alone
Is like feeling the sun go down
without a glorious sunset, and just rainclouds around
Feeling alone
Is like watching a river drying out slow
Words commit suicide in my mouth
A wall of silence grows between me and the crowd
Between me and you...
Feeling alone
Finding no daisies to consult
A house to dark to stay inside
A weather too cold to go out
Redecorating my room a thousand times
Restyling my hair even more than that
Inventing stupid excuses to stay in bed
All in vain in the end
Feeling alone...

In the moonlight

Secretly I long for you,
Like longing for a lost toy
from a far away childhood.
Secretly I dream of you,
Like I dream of fairy princes
And sorcerers of all sort.
But then day becomes night
And inside comes the moonlight,
Destroying all things innocent,
All things sweet and kind.
And I feel the burning desire
Almost coming to flesh and blood.
Do I always have to make love
to your ghost instead of you every night?

Post-Mortem

How difficult it is, to explain oneself
and how much it hurts...
Imagination is a gift, so are words
putting them one after the other
creating entirely different worlds
Worlds where I am the protagonist
where only my feelings matter
Trying to draw borders to pain
trying to see hope, even if there is none
trying to put it all into a poem
and sealing it close for an eternity
Mocking life, feeling strong,
Cursing life, feeling weak
Like an ancient God with great power
the power of verse, that's what it is
And you are invited to witness
see the reflections of your own dreams
But why and why on earth
this longing for autopsy, this twisted lust for explanations?

a brief encounter

Little words, like little butterflies
like the morning breeze, soft and gentle
Little words, trying to reach you
trying to make you think of me
Little words, meaning nothing
so little that remain unnoticed
It was all just a little dream,
with little words I want to rebuild.

Little words, coming together
making lines, one after the other
Little words trying to say big things
trying in vain, managing nothing
So little, so easy to forget
so brave, but still afraid
It was all just a little runaway,
not reaching too far from your lips.

Little little words that I want to write
just once and not anymore
Little little poem, at the edge of nonsense
Life goes on as nothing has happened
your eyes still so blue...
I remember you as you hold the glass of wine
talking about the past
Maybe one day you'll tell that night to another
with the same little words as mine...

February 8, 2004

what the rain washes clean

What an annoying rain, gutless to turn to a storm,
but nasty enough to continue
I'm sitting here inside without the tiniest bit of
motivation to keep things going
I feel like trashing all, burn everything to ground
and start all over again
I feel like going to sleep and not waking up for an eternity
Too freaked out to face the true nature of my dreams
Too bold to just forget everything and go on as normal
Liquid fire in my veins, screaming flames under my skin
Tormented by the ghosts of the past,
ghosts of alternative futures...

Where are my evil seagulls, filling the horizon
with their never-ending calls?
Where are my messages in bottles,
sinking and rising beneath the ocean waves?
And what can I do about the temptation
caused by the alluring thickness of your lips?
What a set mind, oh almighty Lord of Passion,
is there no way to escape your wrath?
What a disturbing thought that we are
not brought any further by so long an evolution!

With a huge pointy hat on my head,
I am desperately looking for a perfect mixture,
Stirring the pot with such a force,
adding some carefully placed lies and teardrops
Spinning my web further and further,
losing track of the flies I forgot struggling around
Becoming one of them in my own mess of a head in the end...
I'm pretty much fucked up, you can tell, longing for a change
Everything ends up boring me to death,
every promising wing turns into an iron bar
Reinforcing my prison, stealing my breath
I have to dig deeper, I have to go further, I have to persist
Till I can get even with my dreams,
and finally have some peace of mind
And only then the rain will be truly over, for once and for all...

January 7, 2006

Turbulent Waters

I am in deep trouble, oh yes, I am
I thought about it again and again
And there's no way out I'm afraid...

This feeling when I see the sun
Reflecting from the corner of your lips
This feeling when I hear the tune
Hidden in the depths of your smile
This feeling when I touch the wind
Bold enough to caress your hair

I am in deep trouble, oh yes, I am
No chance to run away from it
And it'll get worse and worse I'm afraid...

December 29, 2005

Longing for Illusions

My confusion grows with time
I'm neither healed nor calmed down
Thunderbolts and hurricanes in my head
I don't know what I should do next

It must be something about your smile
Or the perfect shape of your lips, perhaps
And the distances and loneliness
It all adds up, you know

I'm feeling miserable, yet kind of excited
Holding on a dream like there's no tomorrow
Always in a hurry, yet doing almost nothing
Mostly trying to escape from my own thoughts

You know I can stand still for hours thinking
About every single vein visible under your skin
I can go on trying to make you laugh, for ages
I'm even capable of writing infinite lines
Always insufficient to describe the beauty of yours

But what makes me so frustrated, my dearest
That not even one of the countless things I'm capable
Are any good against your "out-of-reach"ness...

December 10, 2005

infidelity of feline kind

Today, I felt like writing a little poem

For you-know-who
So I sat down and took a deep breath
And waited for that feeling to pass
Then I quoted from Neil instead
And saved a lot of trouble by doing so...

November 18, 2005

"There are only two worlds-your world, which is the real world, and other worlds, the fantasy. Worlds like this are worlds of the human imagination: their reality, or lack of reality, is not important. What is important is that they are there. These worlds provide an alternative. Provide an escape. Provide a threat. Provide a dream, and power; provide refuge, and pain. They give your world meaning. They do not exist; and thus they are all that matters. Do you understand?"

Titania, the Queen of Faerie

obsessed and confused

- Obsessed with beauty and confused by its side effects -

What does a poem mean?
but some hidden wishes and confessions
It's a message in a bottle, thrown to the ocean
It's a letter in the sand, afraid of the smallest wind
It's nonsense, illogical, worthless...
nevertheless...only sometimes...it works

Looking at you, so close, still very far
seeing patterns formed by the veins of your arms
dreaming impossible dreams
as I used to do, many changes ago
Your face carries me to the past
to a half-forgotten silhouette
dishonored by today’s reflections...

Was I comparing your beauty to a drop of tear's?
Did I mention that you were as attractive as a shiny blade

on the newly smitten knife?

- Don't get me wrong, it's neither out of love nor affection

Not even attempting a request, no, I wouldn't dare to
I'm just pointing to a well-known fact so far
Let this be it and go on with our lives, my dear
And accept my humble apologies for intruding your intimacy
Making you wonder what this is all about
I suspect I did (or will) even cause some disappointments
Twisting your so well-proved formulae about life, universe and everything -

Was I talking about your grace there and everywhere?
Did I already make up some tailored stories to underline your sparkle?
I'm afraid I was.I'm afraid I did.

- The End -

October 30, 2005

Murderous intentions

How beautiful can a nose be?
Standing alone, without those lovely lips underneath
I've got nothing against eyes, though
Dreamy as can be...
What a perfect harmony, the face of yours, I mean...
Attached to a mirror, I bet you spend your time,
When you don't torture the world with its "out of reach"ness
Nailed to a pictureframe, that's where you ought to be
And not walking around, like normal people
Funny thoughts invade my head then
Thoughts very out of place
Disturbing my everyday existence, in a rather violent way
And I'm sure as hell that I'm not the only one, either
We should sort it out, my dear, for once and forever...

October 24, 2005